Late Night

A portly fellow who was obviously on some sort of recreational substance was sitting opposite M and me on a late night train. Usually, I’m quick to ignore and hope for the best but this gentleman was wearing a lei as a crown crown, pink Crocs and checking himself out in a mini Clinique mirror; all in addition to talking to himself, of course.

The other “normal” people on the train were laughing and even I stifled a chuckle. But I became really impressed by the shock on this man’s face when he almost missed his stop. That late at night, with that much substance? And still that aware? Well, that slightly aware? Good show, my man.

Of course this whole spectacle ended with some relatable comments amongst us “normal” folks. But seated next to me was a woman who didn’t quite understand this concept. As we all gave each other a community nod and laugh, she was making assertations about other people on the train.

“That guy’s from New York because he got off the train at his stop but this guy wasn’t cause he almost missed it.”

I’m sorry. Did you just compare Mr. Cokehead to Mild Mannered Commuter? Truth is, they were probably both from New York but that was beside the point! Didn’t she see they were obviously on two different reality planes? Well, of course I had to at least attempt to lead her back to the real core of the situation.

“Well he’s definitely not from anywhere around here.” (Meaning, outer space, maybe?)

“No,” she said. “He looked Hawaiian.”

And that, my friends, was the end of that.