Check Mate!

I like to take note of what other people are reading. Usually it gives some sort of clue as to what’s popular. Like I’ve been seeing a lot of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” But sometimes it just fascinates me. Like the guy on the L train reading “Practical Chess Exercises.”

Of course the first thing that popped into my head was weight lifting with two rooks or maybe two pawns with more reps. Or maybe an aerobics class incorporating the king and queen pieces and the timer. It could just be a set of arm isolation exercises that consist of forward/backward movements when you move your knight to D5 or as you knock down your king for “checkmate.”

It was probably a book on much more intelligent, brain exercises than that but that made me wonder what “impractical chess exercises” would be. Would playing checkers be impractical? Surely a game of checkers would have some benefit. The board is very similar and the pieces more difficult to pick up. And any piece can become king; it’s very democratic.

Playing a chess game on the subway would definitely be an impractical exercise. Your king would be in jeopardy all the time. All those jolts and turns. Plus you’d most likely have to get on at the first stop and ride it to the last to finish your game.

By the time I finished contemplating all that, I had missed my stop. Impractical Subway Exercise I guess…

I Love Love

I watched love blossom on a train once.

A young woman was playing Solitaire on her phone when a young man sitting beside her took out his headphones and to ask her a question about getting free apps.

What a line. Sly dog.

What followed was a vivid conversation with hand gestures and smiles, small laughs and nods of agreement. I couldn’t hear much because they weren’t that close and the noise of the train coupled with the obvious subway musician deafened me to most of it. But I did catch the first lull.

“No!” I cried in my head. I was cheering him on with my mind. It was my own private romantic comedy now. They looked like they should already be a couple, like they belonged together. He couldn’t give up that easy!

Luckily, he was a persistent one.

“How far are you going?”

“14^th”

“Me too!”

Good show! My heart even fluttered a little.

A few questions about what she’s doing in NY and her responses. Then, another lull. But 14^th is so close! Don’t give up! Wait – Yes! Another question!

Wait…is he reaching for the headphones?? Don’t put them in!

Oh thank God, around your neck. Yes.

She’s smiling! Yes!

14^th Street! Still smiling! They exit together.

Oh this is good. It looks like he’s made some clever remark about the platform. She laughs.

Ah love.

I imagine their lives to be filled with fancy dinners, Broadway shows, movie nights at home.

God, I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a psycho.

Baby Got Back

I saw this woman on the subway the other day with a baby strapped to her back. Now I don't have kids and don't really consider myself the motherly type which is why I wonder if I would forget that I had a baby there and think it was a regular backpack.

Like, here I go, running to catch a subway, I just slip on and oops! Backpack stuck in the car doors. Is my backpack crying? That's weird...

Or: Man, I'm so tired. I'm just going to sit down with my backpack on and lean all the way back...

The front pack isn't much better, though I guess it'd be easier to remember it was a child and not just a pack because you'd be staring into their face a lot. Plus, I usually fall forward so that's no good. And what about quick turns near wall corners? That's a good bang on the head.

I guess it is quite the convenient way to carry your child though. I was always told that a backpack was the best way to proportion out the weight of whatever you were carrying. And whenever I see people carrying strollers up and down subways steps, I feel for them. I’m always scared to ask them if they need help because I’m always falling myself, without carrying another human being. It could be bad news. Is that protected under the Good Samaritan law?

Anyway, the backpack is probably better than the side carry I do with my nephew and niece. No wonder my back is a little wonky.

It's probably best that nieces and nephews are as far as I go where children are involved. I think I'd either be too lax or too paranoid a parent - I doubt I'd be one of those nice, calm in between ones. And I definitely would never wear them like a backpack. I mean, if they’re there, where would I put my AMNY?